The Hardest Voice to Believe

“You are my beloved; with you I am well pleased.”

– Mark 1:11

Have you ever walked out of a conversation and thought, "That didn’t go well"? Or looked around and wondered if you were the only one who didn’t get the memo on how to get it all right? 

It doesn’t matter how old we are – middle school, midlife, or beyond – we all hear that voice. The one that says, "You’re not enough." And sometimes, we believe it.

Henri Nouwen, a spiritual writer who understood these things better than most, called self-rejection the greatest enemy of the spiritual life. In Life of the Beloved he writes, “It contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the ‘Beloved.’”

Beloved. That’s the word God spoke over Jesus at his baptism: “You are my beloved; with you I am well pleased.” Not after he’d healed anyone or preached anything. Before all of that. Before the story even got going.

That voice is for us, too. But let’s be honest – it’s the hardest one to believe. Especially when we’re trying so hard to be better, to be liked, to be enough. And when we mess up (which we do), or feel forgotten (which we are, sometimes), it’s easy to think the verdict is in: not good enough.

Anne Lamott says it with trademark honesty in Traveling Mercies: “My mind is a neighborhood I try not to go into alone.”

That’s why we need grace. And community. And reminders from people who’ve been through enough to say, "You’re already loved. You belong. You matter."

Because the spiritual life doesn’t begin when we finally have it all together. It begins when we start to believe – even just a little – that we are already God’s beloved.

And nothing, not even our own doubts, can change that.