Soul Friends
At yesterday’s staff meeting, Paulette Wilkes, who works in the Generosity Office at Christ Church, offered this moving devotion.
As I look back over my life, I can pinpoint two pivotal times in my spiritual journey. The first was back in 1997 when Dan and I moved to the US. It allowed our marriage and my relationship with God to thrive. The second was when I accepted my job at Christ Church.
When I first came to Christ Church in 2021, my faith was at an all-time low. I was raised in the Catholic Church (as were my two daughters, Faye and Grace). But the abuse scandals, corruption, and more importantly to me, the lack of welcome to Grace as a member of the LGBTQ community just wore me down and, in 2019, I rescinded my membership to the church I’d attended since moving to the Charlotte area in 2000. Pair this with a global pandemic, and my relationship with God has suffered a few knocks to say the least.
Since then, I have been struggling to resume my spiritual journey. Christ Church, however, with all its incredible offerings, has tempted me to “dip my toes in” a bit. After some gentle nudging from my friend and boss, Natalie Akin, I’ve signed up for a couple of programs - The Space Between Us and Education for Ministry (or EfM, as it’s usually referred to). It’s a little scary, but I feel it’s a good step in the right direction.
It was while I was perusing some EfM materials that I came across the old Gaelic term anam cara, which means ‘soul friend‘ or ‘beloved spiritual friend.’ As a side note, I have always been drawn to Celtic culture, so it wasn’t surprising when my Ancestry.com genetic test proclaimed me as half Irish. I found an enlightening article about John O’Donohue’s Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom in Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper. (https://www.mariashriversundaypaper.com/anam-cara-25th-anniversary/) I would love to share what I learned from it.
Celtic understanding does not set limitations of space or time on the soul – the soul has no cage but is a divine light that flows into you and those around you. Everyone needs at least one anam cara. In this friendship, in this love, you are understood as you are without mask or pretension. The superficial and functional aspects of social acquaintance fall away, allowing you to be as you really are. Love allows understanding to dawn, and understanding is precious. Where you are understood, you are at home. Understanding nourishes belonging. Through this love you can see the special and sacred identity of others.
The experience of having a ‘soul friend’ illuminates the mystery and kindness of the divine. Without delving into a whole theological explanation, in summary, anam cara is a gift from God, and friendship is the nature of God. The Trinity can be seen as a flow of friendship, with Jesus as the secret anam cara of every individual.
Here is an excerpt from John O’Donohue’s book:
May you be blessed with good friends.
May you learn to be a good friend to yourself.
May you be able to journey to that place in your soul where there is great love, warmth, feeling, and forgiveness.
May this change you.
May it transfigure that which is negative, distant, or cold in you.
May you be brought into the real passion, kinship, and affinity of belonging.
May you treasure your friends.
May you be good to them and may you be there for them; may they bring you all the blessings, challenges, truth, and light that you need for your journey.
May you never be isolated.
May you always be in the gentle nest of belonging with your anam cara.
My anam cara is you all – my Christ Church community – and I thank God every day for this blessing. I feel loved for who I am and a deep sense of belonging I have never felt before in the workplace. I am blown away daily by your acts of kindness, grace, and support. God is present – not just talked about or worshipped, but right here, right now in all of you – through your love and concern for those around you. I know you’ve got my back and each others’. All I’ve had to do is ask for help and several of you have gladly lent a hand. You have made it clear that there is no shame in vulnerability, just a longing to help your soul friends achieve spiritual Wellbeing. There’s no hidden agenda, just love. Its vision is transforming so many people’s spiritual lives. It’s beautiful, and I think God is pleased.
At Christ Church, there is faith, connection, and Wellbeing. Our hearts are transformed by our journey together into God’s love. Christ Church is a place where you can begin, resume, or continue your spiritual journey, no matter where you’ve been. I’m excited to see where mine leads.