With Thanksgiving

At yesterday’s staff meeting, Christ Church Therapist and Wellbeing Educator Alex Bacon shared this devotion. It spoke deeply to us. I hope it will speak to you too.

Today’s date is March 11th. Five years ago today, the World Health Organization officially deemed the coronavirus health crisis to be a pandemic. Two days later, Friday, March 13, 2020 became the day that many schools, universities, and workplaces like Christ Church shut down – initially for two weeks and then of course, for much, much longer.

These calendar markers are poignant to me because when thinking of these dates and about writing this devotional, I thought of the word “gratitude.”

Let me quickly say, I am not grateful for what was a crushing pandemic – a crisis which led to the deaths of over seven million people worldwide, economic calamities, and grave physical and mental health issues for hundreds of thousands of people.

However, I can say that the pandemic shifted my concept of gratitude. And every single day since 2020, I benefit from this enhancement. Every. Single. Day.

My gratitude tipping point came in Fall 2020 when I participated in a webinar for psychotherapists on coping amidst the pandemic. For six months, therapists like myself had been providing “virtual therapy” with clients who were enduring inordinate amounts of stress, grief, anxiety, and depression. I was “seeing” clients via my laptop while sitting in my closet, my garage, or even from my parked car. It was uncharted territory and it was tough work, and I wasn’t doing well. Responding to the needs of my clients, my family, and myself, I was operating from a pretty empty tank.

The webinar instructor’s points about the importance of gratitude weren’t necessarily new to me. When my kids were young I had touted the phrase “Gratitude is an attitude” many times, and for a brief time, we even had a Gratitude Jar in our kitchen. I had been giving thanks in my prayers for decades, and made active efforts to be grateful.

But that Fall, in the context of a devastating pandemic, my attention focused on the instructor’s words in a way that surprised even me. Most impactful to me, she spoke about how when one keenly practices gratitude, this practice both opens one’s eyes to moments of awe and appreciation and also helps temper anxiety. Being grateful doesn’t eradicate worries, but it can offset – or at least steady or lessen – the fever pitch of worry. Anxiety is a lot less powerful when it co-exists with the power of gratitude. 

One of my favorite Bible passages, Philippians 4:6-7, says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

For as long as I could remember, when reading these verses, I had always gravitated towards the words “anxiety” and “peace.” But now, the words “with thanksgiving” began to register in a deeper way. When you are “with thanksgiving,” you literally cannot be all-consumed with anxiety. What a wonderful, active state of being to consider – being “with thanksgiving.”

Beginning that day, I committed to a nightly practice of being “with thanksgiving” by means of a gratitude journal. Every evening I made notations of things I was grateful for that day. I had tried this same practice in the past, but the context of Fall 2020 made this go-round feel different. It felt critical. Quite simply, I had to do this. 

Five years later, my nightly habit continues. Recording daily experiences of gratitude is hands down the only wellbeing intervention to which I have ever remained so committed. I have filled more than four journals. Don’t get me wrong – I have to dig deep some nights. On some nights, I have simply written, “I am just grateful to have made it through this freaking day.” I kid you not. But more often, once I reflect on my day, my words of gratitude write themselves. Many of my gratitude mentions relate to working at here Christ Church – feeling grateful for a colleague who asked about a family member, or who made a kind gesture my way, or feeling grateful for the original art in the hallways, or the daffodils out front. Very frequently I write, “I am so grateful to work with such lovely people.” And I am.

And just like the webinar speaker promised, when walking through life especially attuned to the benefits of being grateful, you can’t help but notice things to be grateful for everywhere. I truly believe that God sprinkles opportunities for gratitude on our paths every day and the first sprinkle is his gift of a new day ahead each and every morning.

Does being mindful of gratitude fully inoculate me from feeling anxious, or judgmental, or irritated? Not at all. I do feel those ways at times, and I also sometimes act out those feelings. But being open to gratitude helps me be honest with myself, humble in the face of life, and better able to reset when the less attractive parts of my psyche work to take root. In Plan B-Further Thoughts on Faith, Anne Lamott writes, “Gratitude, not understanding, is the secret to joy and equanimity.” And I’ll take all the routes to joy and equanimity that I can find.

So “with thanksgiving” this morning I say thank you – for your collegial friendship, for the opportunity in this staff meeting to reflect on gratitude, for how the pandemic impacted me in this particular way, and for each day being a new day. With thanksgiving, I am deeply grateful.

For a treat, here is something else that I am grateful for: musician Paul Zach’s song, “Thank you (Under the Redbud Tree).” Enjoy! https://youtu.be/o3mPJWYKH9o